Once we had our IVF clinic sorted and we’d started the ball rolling there, we had to wait for a number of things. We needed Fertility tests but they have to be done on day 3 of your period. We needed to sort accommodation but were waiting on a winter price list. All we could do was wait so we decided to have a look at a suitable option for the other half of the genetic makeup of our baby, if all goes well.
We’d talked about it and ruled out people we knew. As much as we have many people in our life who we love and would make great baby daddies, we want this to be our child and decided we didn’t want the added complication of a 3rd person who may want to play a part in raising our child. So we decided to use a donor.
We were recommended to use Cryos bank as they ship all over and meet any EU, UK and international requirement. They also have a very large database so you can choose anything from hair/eye colour to education. Some of the donors are anonymous and some aren’t, some have extensive profiles and some just basic information. I would say though that there is pretty much an option there for whatever it is you’re looking for.
We had a look through their database a number of times and kept coming back to the same donor. His profile was extensive, there were baby photos, family tree, a few pages on him – his life and his likes and dislikes etc as well as medical history, a staff opinion of him as a person, a personality quiz and something he’d written saying why he was doing all this. You could even hear the voice as he reads out his reason for donating. Although you can’t see what they look like as an adult, Cryos give you a celebrity they resemble to give you an idea. I wasn’t expecting to be so sure about something this important but both me & my partner had a gut feeling on this guy and it hasn’t wavered yet.
We then gave the donors name to our clinic for them to order ready for our treatment in a few months time. This then became the first thing we started to stress about! The clinic said to us that if they didn’t come back to us then it was all good and the sperm had been ordered no problem, however my partner was checking the donor every few days for a couple of weeks and the number of his stock didn’t go down.
We emailed the clinic again and they said they’d check and get it sorted. Again we waited but nothing had changed. A week later in despair, we email Cryos asking if they’d received an order of this particular donor from our clinic. The answer was no, no order had been placed. Definitely not what we wanted to hear! We’d ruled out so many other donors and this was the one thing we were so sure of, we were then fearful that as he didn’t have much stock left that it would all go and we’d lose out. Many emails went back and forth between our clinic and the sperm bank, eventually our order was confirmed and we had our donor. We decided to reserve a few straws ourselves after all that. As much as we are hopefully that this treatment will work first time, we wanted to have more donor sperm in case we had to go back for another attempt. It will also give us a chance to have a full sibling down the line if things go well. If we don’t need it, say we have a multiple birth first go, then the sperm bank buy back what you have reserved for 75% of cost. Great piece of mind for the future but not a huge expense if down the line its not needed. Believe it or not we’re actually hoping for twins so that we only have to go through this process the once!